Our whole culture is developed
around getting what you want, especially for men. We women are used to
not getting what we want unless we find a man to help. In life the #1
rule of sales is that a No can always be turned into a Yes.
The problem is becoming more complicated with sexual ruination
becoming a thing and the old rules are still out there being followed.
Look up “the art of persuasion” and “how to get a woman into bed” Women and
men offer time proven advice choked full of tips and tricks.
I am fully aware of this new and
potentially life altering conundrum. Some
women like to feel taken against their will. It is part of their
turn on. Then for other women just the act itself with two
consenting adults is taboo enough to cause fear. Complicate the
game by having women who have the genetic DNA of 1000s of years being
considered property and only very very recently being almost treated as
equal. We all agree that temperament is genetic, right?
Women have evolved over the years and have been literally chosen and bred for their compliant
nature, just like dogs, for the purpose of supporting man (in any way) and
having children with a few bold and courageous women leaking thru to help the
gene pool and lead charges to equality. So let’s go back to these
two women mentioned above. These gals, both good girls, find
themselves at a night club. Woman 1 is going for the thrill
of flirting and perhaps more for the evening. Woman 2 is going to
dance and have fun with girlfriends and just dancing with a man gives her the
thrill. Both women act like ingénues, one women is an actress
and the other is real. A normal man cannot tell them apart (but he
should). So now let’s add some drugs or alcohol, and some good old
fashioned sexual biology. If that combination has not all but
killed morality let’s add in some male buddies to strike the final blow.
Clearly not all situations are like this. But most situations that
go south have some of these elements.
Women have spent lifetimes
perfecting risk assessment to the point that we do not even know we are doing
it. I can make a list of what I have done while I was in my teens and 20s to avoid being the recipient of cat calls or worse. Men do risk assessment all the time in life but are having a
hard time generalizing this over to women. Perhaps they have just plain discounted us. They roll the dice and cross fingers all the
time in business and they are willing to do it over and over again. Going
bankrupt, divorced or even jailed is just a stepping stone to the next
step. Men have the genetic DNA behind them and remember temperament is
genetic, right? The problem is that men have consciously been
willing to take extra risks. The greater the risk the greater the
reward. Now they are having to apply that risk to courtship which
is extremely inconvenient for some. A simple drunken
transgression has the potential to bring them down as if they had sold the
family farm for ocean front property in Arizona. Worse, ruin them without a trial! It may be wrong and not fair but it would make me stop and take notice.
What are men and women to
do?? Well probably most men are going to say we women need to
lighten up, it is just sex for goodness sake. Didn’t the
sexual revolution of the 60s started and fueled by Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner
desensitize our culture? Recently Robert Redford was quoted in
response to the K decision "I feel out of place in the country I was
born". I get what he is trying to say but come on dude, it was far
worse for women when you were born than it is today. When you were
born it would have been unheard of for a sexual encounter to ruin a man.
Honestly "me thinks men prosteteth WAY too much. Ok ok, back
to what are humans going to do. First of all get better at life, be
better at being a good person, parents raise your kids better, simple eh?
Women need to understand that not all women are trashy and slutty and deserve
or want what they get. Some women are in the wrong place at the wrong
time and things escalated. Men need to become better at reading
women. Seriously. If you are driving a race car and you want
to go faster and faster you need fine-tuned skills in order to not wreck or
worse, kill yourself. If you are in the corporate world making deals you
need to know the person across the table and read them well or the deal
could go bad. Many of my friends are dog trainers, the only
way we get better is by reading our dog better. So the reality is,
men need to read women a lot better. Most women who fight you off really do want you to go away. Most women who say "wait, no"
at even the worst moment really do mean, no. I would be willing to
bet that the woman who really meant yes when she said no is the sort you should
stay away from. So basically any time there is even the slightest hesitation or weakest no, walk the F' away. I can think of many more alternatives ways to not having your life ruined but to be honest men are smart, they are not stupid. This is something easy to work out.
I have been thinking about this for
some time. There is actual precedence for what I am talking about.
Thank you, Nichole Hamilton for sharing this one.
If you play with cats, you must expect to be scratched.
Prophetic words, I think.
I know that it really is inconvenient for men to add sexual encounter gone wrong to the list of things that can ruin them but life is full of things we do not like. The reality is that there are so many men all over the world that have treated women with respect that this will only effect a small minority or the worst risk takers.
In closing I feel we do
need to give allowances to teen age brains and teen age sexual awakenings.
This has nothing to do with the K decision. It has all to do with science and
young people who are out becoming social and independent and learning about life and
making the mistakes that they can learn from. There is a reason people under 18 are usually tried as
children and the record is cleaned as an adult. Parts of the brain are still maturing and adult
skills for actions and consequences don't yet exist. These
socialization years for teens are super important for their development and should not be held against them. There is real
science behind this and we need to be very careful in our outrage against
children.
Copyright 2018 Ciera Reflections. All Rights Reserved.
