Resting Guilt Face
You have all heard of Resting Bitch Face? Well I would like to introduce you to
Resting Guilt Face.
I have always had resting bitch face. I remember as a child being in a perfectly good mood and walking by stranger and they would tell me to smile. I was smiling, I thought. The reality is, it was an indirect criticism and totally unnecessary. After it is drilled into me my entire life by well-meaning strangers who think I am mad or sad I started to become a bit frustrated and cranky, and a slightly self-conscious adult. Now today I don’t care. My brother on the other hand had resting guilt face. He was not guilty. He was a good happy kid. He was also very much an introvert. He was the 1970s version of a modern day hoody wearing moody teen but yet he was neither moody nor guilty. He had resting guilt face and was an introvert. America is not a great place for an introverted boy to grow into a man. Many introverts do find their groove but mostly men are expected to be extroverted heroes.
I have always had resting bitch face. I remember as a child being in a perfectly good mood and walking by stranger and they would tell me to smile. I was smiling, I thought. The reality is, it was an indirect criticism and totally unnecessary. After it is drilled into me my entire life by well-meaning strangers who think I am mad or sad I started to become a bit frustrated and cranky, and a slightly self-conscious adult. Now today I don’t care. My brother on the other hand had resting guilt face. He was not guilty. He was a good happy kid. He was also very much an introvert. He was the 1970s version of a modern day hoody wearing moody teen but yet he was neither moody nor guilty. He had resting guilt face and was an introvert. America is not a great place for an introverted boy to grow into a man. Many introverts do find their groove but mostly men are expected to be extroverted heroes.
In the late 70s and early 80s my brother started to be harassed
by the cops. They would stop him
often. I assume today, because he had resting
guilt face. He also drove a
motorcycle. He really liked dirt
bikes. He could do a wheelie in 3rd
gear in an empty parking lot. He was very
proud of that. My mom was outraged every
time the cops pulled him over. She felt
they were picking on him. My father
started to believe the police. They were
making him more introverted and actually turning him moody and he was even
starting to actually feel guilty when out and about. I have been pulled over by a cop perhaps 5
times for traffic issues in my entire life.
My brother had been pulled over that many times or more before he was 20. He had been arrested and taken in more than
once before he was 20.
My brother and I grew up in the same white middle class family. Our parents were educated, we had home cooked food on the table every night when dad came home. My family traveled and had a lot of fun. We grew up expecting to go to college. We were all smart. We had a text book upbringing. While all of this was going on with my teen age brother I watched from the sidelines as a disinterested older sister would do. I knew what was going on but even I figured he must have done something wrong. One thing I could not deny, a happy dirt bike riding kid grew angry and started to sneak around to avoid being pulled over, but even that added to his guilty persona. As I grew older my mom would remind me of all of this from time to time literally saying the cops harassed your brother, she would tell me the same numerous stories over and over. Even to this day 40 years later she is still annoyed.
Today my brother is angry at law enforcement. He even still gets pulled over regularly. He is smart (and white, but does that matter?) and today he knows he did nothing wrong. He has even gone to court and won more than once. He still has resting guilt face and today, he is rather sullen about it. He has two lovely sons who have both graduated from college and are doing quite well. He is alienated from his family, me included. We did not help and support him as a family should. I actually get it.
My brother and I grew up in the same white middle class family. Our parents were educated, we had home cooked food on the table every night when dad came home. My family traveled and had a lot of fun. We grew up expecting to go to college. We were all smart. We had a text book upbringing. While all of this was going on with my teen age brother I watched from the sidelines as a disinterested older sister would do. I knew what was going on but even I figured he must have done something wrong. One thing I could not deny, a happy dirt bike riding kid grew angry and started to sneak around to avoid being pulled over, but even that added to his guilty persona. As I grew older my mom would remind me of all of this from time to time literally saying the cops harassed your brother, she would tell me the same numerous stories over and over. Even to this day 40 years later she is still annoyed.
Today my brother is angry at law enforcement. He even still gets pulled over regularly. He is smart (and white, but does that matter?) and today he knows he did nothing wrong. He has even gone to court and won more than once. He still has resting guilt face and today, he is rather sullen about it. He has two lovely sons who have both graduated from college and are doing quite well. He is alienated from his family, me included. We did not help and support him as a family should. I actually get it.
There is no such thing as the look of a liar, or guilt, or a
bitch. Even tho judges, cops, John Q and parents
use it all the time to make assumptions about a person. There have been numerous scientific studies
done on this topic yet still we put the most credibility on the least effective
way to make a judgement.
How would my angry sullen brother be today if he had not been harassed by cops in his teens?
How would my angry sullen brother be today if he had not been harassed by cops in his teens?
