A Generation of American Men Give Up on College: ‘I Just Feel Lost’
There have been a few articles lately discussing the number of young men who are not going to college and the rise of women who are. Men are adrift in the new world where a high school diploma is really not enough. They have been for some time now. I have been reading these articles with sort of a wide eyed astonishment and many thoughts come to mind. Many of them may be silly to you, but many a true thing has been said in jest. I have been dying to get these thoughts out of my head since I read the first article a few months ago.
- First and foremost, where was all the worry in the last century that women were not attending colleges?
- Does it really matter? We have survived for 1000s of years with the vast majority of women being uneducated, so what if the role is reversing.
- Are men actually defeatist?
- Do they only want to compete with their same gender?
- Who is going to rule the world if men start bowing out of the educational system? (typed with tongue in cheek)
- Perhaps women with their compassion and nurturing instinct may be a kinder and gentler force needed to rule the world.
- How badly do men need the educational system to help them find their place?
- Perhaps the physical genetic differences in men make them better suited for the blue collar and labor still needed by society.
- Have men/boys gotten lazy because of coddling parents? Has this laziness has turned to disillusionment.
I do have my own opinions of college. I think it is wasted on the young, yep, that’s my opinion. Not all young people but I see a fair number of students not taking advantage of the great gift of the time to go to school. I also think student loans are a crime. I do think education is important. No matter what you chose to be educated in. If I could go back in time I might even consider going to trade school and becoming an electrician. I have long held the belief that military or college is sort of a finishing period for young people. Sort of a safety net between the family security and the great wild unknown. People come out of both a little more mature and ready to face life’s tough challenges that most are not prepared for at 18.
Are men genetically hard wired to be heroes, leaders, protectors and the bread winners? We know it is cultural for sure but is it more than that? I know many many couples who have a role reversed relationship. There are 3 in my family alone: my brother, my male cousin, and myself. I guess one could call it a power shift, money is power, right? There are struggles and challenges. I am in a FB group called working women with stay-at-home husbands. Women share their problems with each other and help give support and advice and solutions. I think there should be a support group for stay-at-home men who are facing the challenge of finding their value in non-traditional ways. Recently I had an awakening to this issue. I wanted to buy a new fancy generator because I was tired of the old one being, well, old and fussy. It never let us down, primarily because Yanni tended to it like a loving parent tends to a sick child. Eventually it died. I was so relieved and purchased a new generator that runs faster and jumps higher, mainly just runs. When you turn it on, you can walk away. Little did I know the old generator gave Yanni value. When the power would go out he would crank up the old generator that he got for free and check the duct tape and bailing wire and we would have power in the house. Every time it hiccuped or burped he would run out and lovingly check it and put on new band aids to make it run a bit longer. He found great value in being a hero 3 times a day and he was saving us money by not having to buy a new generator. This was a huge moment for me.
Today who wants to face life’s challenges when their parents
have big houses with swimming pools and pay for all their conveniences, like
internet, phone, car insurance etc. It could take years on their own to build the
lifestyle they have been accustomed to. There was a saying that goes like this: hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good
times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. I am not sure I agree 100% with this cause
and effect but I think there is some merit to the concept that when life is too
easy we get lazy and let go of the thin thread that is keeping it easy. There is always something waiting to erode
complacency into despair.
When something has been so out of balance for so many 1000s of years, yes thousands it is bound to reset in the opposite direction until it settles to an equal position. My dad used to call it the great iron that wants us all to be the same. The pendulum has swung and it has gone to the side of women, it will come back. In the meantime men will have plenty of time to find their groove, sense of worth and value. It may not be easy and it will probably hurt. Change works like that, though.
I may sound like a child of the women’s liberation generation, and yes, I am. I am really the first generation of women who have seen some great changes for us. I was 14 (1974) when women were allowed to get a credit card in their own name. This may speak more about the financial system needing more money to flow than gender equality, but that is for another blog. The word sexual harassment first appeared in print in 1972. It was not until 1976 that it was against the law to fire someone for refusing a supervisor’s sexual advances. The list does go on.
I am very happy that I have lived while generations of women have risen up. It is the struggle that makes us better. Women rising does not mean men have to lower they just need to move over and share. But until the great ironing board works it magic the pendulum will swing.
*If you got this far in your reading. please try not to pick one crazy thought I have had out of this to shoot me with, this is meant as an entire piece of food for thought. You might say "ensemble cast of things going thru my head".
