Resting Guilt Face

Resting Guilt Face

You have all heard of Resting Bitch Face?    Well I would like to introduce you to Resting Guilt Face.   

I have always had resting bitch face.  I remember as a child being in a perfectly good mood and walking by stranger and they would tell me to smile.   I was smiling, I thought.  The reality is, it was an indirect criticism and totally unnecessary.    After it is drilled into me my entire life by well-meaning strangers who think I am mad or sad I started to become a bit frustrated and cranky, and a slightly self-conscious adult.    Now today I don’t care.   My brother on the other hand had resting guilt face.  He was not guilty.   He was a good happy kid.   He was also very much an introvert.   He was the 1970s version of a modern day hoody wearing moody teen but yet he was neither moody nor guilty.    He had resting guilt face and was an introvert.    America is not a great place for an introverted boy to grow into a man.   Many introverts do find their groove but mostly men are expected to be extroverted heroes.  

In the late 70s and early 80s my brother started to be harassed by the cops.   They would stop him often.   I assume today, because he had resting guilt face.    He also drove a motorcycle.  He really liked dirt bikes.   He could do a wheelie in 3^rd gear in an empty parking lot.    He was very proud of that.    My mom was outraged every time the cops pulled him over.     She felt they were picking on him.   My father started to believe the police.  They were making him more introverted and actually turning him moody and he was even starting to actually feel guilty when out and about.    I have been pulled over by a cop perhaps 5 times for traffic issues in my entire life.   My brother had been pulled over that many times or more before he was 20.    He had been arrested and taken in more than once before he was 20.
   
My brother and I grew up in the same white middle class family.  Our parents were educated, we had home cooked food on the table every night when dad came home.    My family traveled and had a lot of fun.   We grew up expecting to go to college.  We were all smart.   We had a text book upbringing.    While all of this was going on with my teen age brother I watched from the sidelines as a disinterested older sister would do.   I knew what was going on but even I figured he must have done something wrong.    One thing I could not deny, a happy dirt bike riding kid grew angry and started to sneak around to avoid being pulled over, but even that added to his guilty persona.   As I grew older my mom would remind me of all of this from time to time literally saying the cops harassed your brother, she would tell me the same numerous stories over and over.   Even to this day 40 years later she is still annoyed.     

Today my brother is angry at law enforcement.   He even still gets pulled over regularly.   He is smart (and white, but does that matter?) and today he knows he did nothing wrong.   He has even gone to court and won more than once.  He still has resting guilt face and today, he is rather sullen about it.   He has two lovely sons who have both graduated from college and are doing quite well.  He is alienated from his family, me included.   We did not help and support him as a family should.   I actually get it.   

There is no such thing as the look of a liar, or guilt, or a bitch.   Even tho judges, cops, John Q and parents use it all the time to make assumptions about a person.    There have been numerous scientific studies done on this topic yet still we put the most credibility on the least effective way to make a judgement.

How would my angry sullen brother be today if he had not been harassed by cops in his teens?     
     

Enough Breeders?

Staffords remain popular as an ultimate companion and foremost all-purpose dog.   However breeding in the U.S. is decreasing.    I would say many in the UK are breeding less or getting out of it except in your case the breeders who are on the outside of the clubs and codes of ethics are breeding more.  

In the U.S. there are more people than ever who want a pup.   Specifically right now because they are home and have the time to devote to a new companion.   Most pet buyers do not understand that we do not have litters and puppies standing buy.   If they want a pup now, they want it now.   Once they find a breeder any breeder who is remotely willing to talk or take their money they immediately put on their puppy goggles.   Health testing, mentoring, quality breeding stock concerns all go out the window.  All of these breeders are experienced in saying all the right feel good things to make this transaction.   We so called responsible health testing breeders do not have the pups.
 

Nothing is going to force us to breed more, or breed for pet homes, or place our good pups in homes that might move forward and become breeders too.    It would however be good for us to acknowledge that the breed is getting more and more popular all over the world while we are not bringing in more breeders and many of the existing breeders only breed when they want a pup.   I have a litter right now.   A large one, 8 pups.  I posted a litter announcement on my Facebook page.    In 24 hours I had 30 applications and the phone was ringing off the hook.    I took the announcement down.    I really like the fact the Stafford is low numbers in this country.    However based on current demand I would expect the commercial breeders to sit up and take notice so this won’t last.   Hopefully being on dangerous dog lists will keep them from entering puppy mill farming.

I don’t think the Stafford will die out here due to lack of breeders but I do think we need more good people breeding.   We need to rethink what makes a good breeder and stop bashing people who breed good health tested dogs to place with others.    You don’t have to keep a pup from every litter you breed to make you a good breeder.    I mark a good breeder on how they keep the health and welfare of their breeding stock, rear their pups, and qualify their new owners and a breeder gets bonus points if they bring new people in to the fancy.