Some personal thoughts on End of Life care for our dogs.

I recently went thru a modified shortened version of chemo with one of my dogs.  I wanted to share a few observations.   This is not a feel sad blog.  This is intended to be a continuation of the question we all have on when to let go. 

I was dealing with a fast growing t-cell lymphoma in his intestines.   The prognosis was bad and fast, weeks to a few months..   He was 14 years old.   Previously he was doing quite well for 14.  This story start to finish was approx 5 weeks.

The oncologist and vets in the process were all very nice and kind and offered a few treatment options including doing nothing.   While we were diagnosing the type of cancer they had me put him on prednisone which I learned is a type of chemo.   It worked wonders.   Within 24 hours his symptoms were reduced remarkably and he was cheerful and bouncy.    This had a great influence on my decision to move forward with a more aggressive treatment.   One option was full on chemo which takes a number of months and costs about $1500-2000 per month.    The next option was a condensed version of three treatments over nine weeks with monitoring in between.    The third was to simply keep him on prednisone but this treatment has some uncomfortable side effects, excessive drinking and night restlessness to name two.    Once I agreed to the 3 treatments over 9 weeks I felt good.   It was affordable and seemed to be in keeping with the amount of time he had left.   The goal was to get him off prednisone and treat the original symptoms which were no appetite, lethargy, and diarrhea.   After the first week he seemed to be stable.   At the three week mark I started to feel that I was holding on too long.   His symptoms were gone but I felt his breathing was different and he vibrated weirdly sometimes.   He was still taking his morning walks and appetite good.   One day Yanni said he was down at the shop and appeared disoriented.   I went to my three week appt for his 2nd does of chemo ready to tell the oncologist it is time to throw in the towel.   They wanted to do their exam and blood test first before I made that decisions.   They came back and said he is doing great.    In all honesty he was doing better than my original reason for bringing him to the vet before diagnosis but in general he was not doing as well as the day after the first prednisone.  She said the entire treatment plan is important to go thru.  He was doing really well based on their exam.  I was worried that I had 6  more weeks for a dog that had possibly only weeks to live.  It did not feel 100% right but I opted for the next does of chemo.   

A week later I went to my vet for a follow up blood test.  I got there with full intent to do the blood test and come home but my dog was not well to me.   I had a sad feeling over the last couple days even tho symptoms were all good.   So I got to the vet and they took me back and I said I am here for a blood test but I think I need to let my boy go.  I was starting to get teary eyed.   I talked to the vet who wanted to look at the history first.   He called the oncologist.     They wanted me to do a blood test before I decided.    They were telling me it may be an infection which can be treated.   I said, of course it can with more drugs.  The vet nodded.    I told them I live with this dog you all do not.    The vet nodded again.   Look at him now, I said.  He may not be dying at this moment but he wants to go.   They finally agreed and understood.   

Let me say I never got the impression the chemo was hurting him.   He always rallied a bit after the drugs.   I believe the poor guy just had cancer and it was a tough cancer and he was 14 years old.       

Every time I said this is too much they would tell me it is going as expected and let's do one more and we will make these changes.   So I would.  There were some great days and some bad days and all in between. The part that really bothers me is that two times I felt that I needed to let my boy go and two times I felt pressure from the vets to continue. I did not have the strength to say no.  I wanted to believe.  Once I was convinced to continue and the second time I held firm.    I am not going to say what is right and what is wrong for each person and each case but I do want to say a few things.

You are the one advocating for your dog.  You are the one living with your dog.  Waiting even one day too long is torture to your dog.   Don't let the vets pressure you.  I am sure they only want you to have all the facts but when you are at your weakest those facts may give you false hope.  My opinion is this, anyone starting a round of expensive chemo loves their dog so if they show up saying it is time, believe them.   There is so much to quality of life.  It is not simple as I had once thought, each dog has different quality of life issues.   With each decision to let a dog go I learn more about what that means.  One week too soon is far better then one day too late.   Watch your oldies carefully.   What do they love to do and can they do that which they love?  They have to go eventually, they need our help to go well.   Our pets are so lucky to have us to help ensure their last days are not miserable,  that is a gift to them.   Be selfless, do not think of yourself, think of your pet.   

It is a sad thing to practice, but I am getting better at this and it is getting easier.   

AKC and Humility Lost

Let me preface this blog by saying I do not like to name names and call people out publicly.  However, I do not think the Pure Dog Talk host or Mr Green intended to be offensive.   I don’t think either of them realized the faux pas.  i also think by not naming names it discounts my message.  I hope some people of influence read this and a light bulb turns on. 

This morning I was listening to Pure Dog Talk Episode 218 Legendary Dog Man Peter Green Brings History to life.

This episode was recorded at Santa Barbara and at the very beginning the podcast host introduced Peter Green and commented on how he has won this show.  Peter corrected her and said he had won it twice.  

There are so many things wrong with that interchange.   Where is the sense of humility and gratitude for his success?   Does that not also validate all of us grumbling that it is all about who is on the other end of the leash?

I would like to correct them both.   Peter Green handled a dog and on two occasions won the show.   Dogs win dog shows, not people.

AKC please step up and take notice here.   Judges and pro handlers are mentors and role models whether they like it or not.    Judges and handlers are the experienced front lines in the Fancy.   What they do and say is so important to the interest of new people coming in to the sport.   Breeders and exhibitors are bashed all the time as if it is our fault that new people are scared off.   At another point in the podcast Pete and the host were bantering about something from the past and the host said “see there was drama way back then also”.    As if that justifies the climate of today.    I say breeder and owner handlers are the life blood of the sport.   We should be king not the judges and pro-handlers.   Without us en masse there is no sport.    Start treating us as one very offended customer that keeps being told we are crazy or what we see in front of us is not true. 

I worked on a cutting horse ranch for about 7 years.  The owner of the ranch said to me:  “Never take credit for a win on your horse.”   It was sort of a superstitious statement about staying humble.    I really took this to heart.   If anyone could get a big head it would have to be a trainer who trained and rode a horse to a 200k purse.   I am grateful for every break I have had in my life.   I will never take credit for something my dogs do.   

PS: In cutting horses the pros and non-pros never compete against each other.   

Adopt don’t Shop is its own worst enemy.

First let me say, I think pulling, evaluating and getting new homes for unwanted dogs is a good thing.    I really do not have a problem with moving dogs to areas where there is opportunity.   I feel pure breed clubs should continue pulling their own from shelters and place responsibly.  Breeders should do everything in their power to avoid their dogs becoming part of the system.   I love the power of social media and adoption events to help place mentally sound dogs.  However, I believe the Adopt don't Shop campaign is shooting itself in the foot.  They are operating on quantity not quality.   Their campaign is greater than their ability and knowledge base of individuals to handle proper housing, vetting, evaluating and choosing homes.  This is especially true when the real knowledge base is in the group of people who they despise and want to run out of town. 
 

I saw this often when I was helping in rescue.   I know how to raise pups and pick homes and care for a mom really well.   I had a rescue group turn me down for a litter because I am a compassionate dog lover who also breeds, which is everything they hate.    I have worked with and known some wonderful nonjudgmental rescue groups who do a great job in their community.   I have also seen a lot that made me realize some groups were in over their head.    I have seen the donations roll in.   John Q Public seems to love to throw money at problems.   Money cannot buy everything.    Money does not buy experience.   Rescuing and placing dogs should be a wonderful thing yet more and more fosters and rescuers have burn out and emotional stress.   I remember from working in rescue they tried very hard to place dogs in good homes but anyone who raised their hand to foster was welcome.   They could not afford to turn down any volunteer regardless of their experience and ability.    I saw so many people who felt their love for dogs was enough to take on these projects.    I saw rescue leaders struggling with fosters too emotionally involved to listen and follow instructions.   Rescuers could learn a lot from us breeders.   We have been thru all the trials and tribulations with our dogs and we manage to come out of it smiling.   

I hate bringing up money but I personally think big rescue groups bring in more money per dollar spent than breeders do.  I have to bring it up because the breeder haters wants to throw that in our face all the time.   My last 3 attempts at litters have cost me around $12,000 and resulted in 2 litters, total 5 pups.  That does not even include the health testing, food and other incidentals of rearing those 5 pups.    It also does not include any of the money I have spent to pursue the hobby of showing and performance to prove my dogs have all the ingredients for their breed.   This is not everyone’s story but it is my reality.    Most of the people I know in breeding have similar tales to tell.   Rescue is becoming big profit by some because we know dogs need minimal resources to just be alive.   Where there is money there will be exploitation, just follow the money.   

Today there are more and more stories of unhealthy dogs from abroad being turned loose in communities.   There are stories of people taking dangerous dogs home and tragedy strikes.   The “it’s all in how they are raised” is a dangerous statement that is making rescuers and owners feel like failures.   It is NOT in how they are raised, it is hard wired in their genes.   This is directly harmful to dogs who may now be in rescue storage limbo or worse placed with people who are completely unprepared for the project.   There has been as many stories of rescue groups gone bad as the sad puppy mill stories.    Rescue thinks their shit don’t stink but social media tends to root out a lot of dirty little secrets.   

There is today and always has been plenty of good homes for puppies.   The problem is we are not breeding enough.   We are almost embarrassed to admit to each other, no I am not keeping a pup.   It is not you or you or you who is responsible to provide the pet market with puppies.   But it is our responsibility as a whole to preserve our breed as it is a worthy breed.   If you choose to breed you are a participant in the project.   If the breed has been good to you, you owe it to the breed to give back.  We need to breed proud.   We need to talk about it.    We do not have to knock down each other or rescue to build ourselves up.    We do not even need to mention rescue.    We only need to be proud of our product.     We are not placing unhealthy poor temperament dogs into unsuspecting homes and communities.  Our dogs speak for themselves!  

“Adopt don’t Shop”is going to kill its own movement if they don’t change how they think and the bad press that is coming to a neighborhood near you.    I don’t see them changing.   I see them continuing to collect money from a guilt ridden keyboard public who won’t or can’t volunteer and expecting a steadily increasing stream of volunteers to keep up with the increasing volume in the name of compassion.    I see more and more dogs mismatched to well-meaning homes or ending up in storage at puppy farm type warehouses.       

Promote without exploiting 

Protect with compassion  

Preserve for the future

and do all three with Pride!

No Fences

No Fences

I have a theory.   Dogs given freedom do not abuse it. Dogs kept locked up don’t know what to do when they obtain it.  Let me preface this theory with I do not believe all dogs should be allowed freedom.    Today our society demands that dogs be good citizens and dogs in city and urban areas should not be allowed to do as they wish.    They are after all animals with teeth.

When I was young we lived in a tract house on a very large lot.    I think we had 5 Borzoi, 3 females and 2 males.    They were pets first but my family also showed and coursed and bred them.   Whenever someone knocked on the door or the phone rang it was normal for us kids to lose our minds racing to get the phone or answer the door.    This created a heightened sense of arousal of the dogs who are 90% of the time lounging on various pieces of the furniture like prima donnas.  They would then race us to the door or phone.    So we would open just a sliver of the door to say hi with 4 or 5 Borzoi noses lined up and down the opening.   Our parents got wise very fast and did not allow hysteria to ensue when the phone rang or a knock came on the door.   By then though we had already instilled a sense of excitement about what was behind the door.   Accidents happen it is inevitable with kids and dogs.  A gate or door left open meant all Borzoi within range were shot out of a canon into the unknown.   They were a mile away before you blinked an eye.   Red alert at the house while it turned into a crisis of greatest proportion with all hands on deck like a battleship at war looking for men overboard.   All resources went to locate one or more Borzoi who could go very fast and had no experience with freedom and were usually far away before they realized they were lost.  

Fast forward about 15-20 years, say 1995-2000.   My adult sister who was the youngest one at home had 2 Borzoi.   She would come over to the house and open the car door and out bounced her dogs.   We were aghast!   How can you do this?    She looked shocked and said: “what, do what?”.   Her dogs got out and milled around.   They did not run off like crazed inmates who just tunneled their way to freedom.   They just hung out.   It was then I realized we create our problems with our dogs.  Not only did we freak out when a door or gate was open while calling hysterically as they were running into the sunset we also never really taught the young ones what freedom is under calm circumstances.    We did take our dogs running.   We went coursing off leash and we also took them to large parks and university grounds where they could safely run.   It was not a case of keeping them wrapped in cellophane but more a case at a home created environment.     They did not know the neighborhood and learned that getting free is super super exciting.    

I now live on 40 acres in the foothills between Sacramento and Tahoe.    I am surrounded by 100s of acres all around me.    I do not have any fences.  I intended to build some fences, still do, but have you priced fencing lately??   I moved here from 8 acres.   That property was fenced all the way around with some fenced dog yards.     Prior to that I lived on a 25 acre horse ranch with fences for horses.   I had 2 dogs, technically no fences for dogs.   My current dogs had a clue about living large from the 8 acre parcel.    I have had 4 incidents over 30+ years of living out in the country.    One was fatal and 3 were not.   3 incidents were dogs living primarily in fenced areas who then got loose.  The last incident was a dog without fences who followed me to get the mail without my knowledge and then a passerby picked her up.   I am pretty sure she would have come home without the stranger intervening.  I did get her back 24 hours later. 

I have had to have a heart to heart with myself about my lifestyle with my dogs.   I often question myself.  Are my dogs happier and more adjusted for having complete, and I mean complete freedom?   Are my dogs generally trustworthy to handle this freedom?   Is it worth it for my human dog relationship?  Do I spend too much time worrying?   Having multiple dogs does it help to keep hot reactions down toward each other?   In general I say, yes except the worry part.  I only worry when I can't find one.   I worry when spring comes because the dogs usually like to do walkabouts.  Which means I have to go get Scarlet regularly from the horse ranch next door where she hangs out in the barn breezeway with people and horses.   It also means that the neighbor’s pond is more appealing than their own.   Yes I have given multiple, and when I say multiple I mean dozens of skunk baths.   They do chase the deer off the property, but no further.  I often wonder how the dogs know the property line.   One time I was out with 3 dogs.   The two Staffords flushed a wild pig.  The AmStaff was walking beside me and alerted.   Next thing I knew they were all running behind the pig like in a cartoon.     I panicked and after about 2 minutes total all 3 dogs were back at the house.    Since then I have noticed they only chase intruders off the property and then come back.   They have learned that cows and horses belong here.   They have learned that Jack Rabbits are a waste of running energy.    One has learned how to successfully race a ground squirrel to its hole and grab it before it goes in.    The same one walks with Yanni while he hunts those pesky ground squirrels to keep them back from the house and barns.   He shoots and she runs and gets them….   “what the heck?”   When did Staffords become retrievers?  

I study every story and situation where dogs are getting lost.   I want to understand how it happens and what the circumstances are because it is my biggest fear and worry.    Yesterday I was working in the garden and 4 of my dogs were at the private dirt road in front visiting neighbors.   That worries me because positive reinforcement means they may go to the road again because it was fun.  It is a very quiet dirt road but still, I worry.  I tell the ranch people next door to throw rocks at Scarlet and tell her to go home but every time they coo over her and put her in the Polaris and bring her back.   One time Chopper chased something into the horse pastures and I was so worried the horses would freak out but then over the hill came 3 horses heads down and ears back chasing him back out.    That was a good lesson for a bad boy.  

Today I have no fences and even the highest drive dog has freedom here.    Most of the time doors are open and dogs can come and go as they please.   I am usually embarrassed to say I don’t have fences as if I will be judged.  No one would place a pup with me, I am sure.  However, today my dogs do not panic or get lost when they breach the perimeter.    They all come when I whistle.   Daphne is getting hard of hearing so she is the last to come home.    I worry about how she will handle the freedom as she ages and her mind and senses start to go.    I think my dogs have a good life and I suspect if they could talk they would tell me so.  I have 7 dogs.    It is impossible to give 7 dogs proper attention and interaction while having a full time job.    I suspect allowing them time to be free spirits is a fair exchange.   Last night there were 4 dogs and 2 people in the bed.   I was so exhausted I forgot to put them in their crates.  I got up stiff from being unable to move but it was worth it.  
 
Ultimately I feel a dog would trade all the freedom in the world for a quality relationship with its owner.   So freedom is not a necessity to a canine companion but it is something that has taught me a lot about dogs in general.   It is one of the things good or bad that my dogs enjoy.